Surviving the Middle School Years

The Middle School Years:  Surviving Adolescence and Adolescents

So your child is in middle school.  If this is your first child or only child, you may not realize the changes that are in store for both you and your child.  A few years back, I read an article in the San Francisco Chronicle that summed up the transition perfectly.  Your child transforms from being a loving “dog” to being a finicky “cat”.

            When children are young and adoring of their parents, they are like dogs.  They are cheerful, they crave attention, and they desperately want to by their parents’ sides.  However, with adolescence and middle school comes the shift from children being dogs to cats.  Overnight, a child does not want a parent’s constant attention.  In fact, attention, particularly that showing outward signs of love, is only allowed when the child is ready for it.  Coming and going should be at his or her choice, along with two-way conversation and signs of affection.

            Surviving adolescence is quite the challenge, as it surviving adolescents.  The middle school grades have been the most challenging for American education. Middle school presents an unsettled mix between innocence and churlishness with students in an array of stages of personal, physical, emotional, and intellectual development.  Adolescents’ levels of self-respect, self-efficacy, and self-esteem drop, not only threatening their personal selves, but their tolerance for others.  The ages of 12 to 15 are a period of important developmental changes and a time of stress and conflict. The physiological changes often lead to future problems, doubts about self-concept, and relationships with others.

Parents of middle school students, do not despair.  In approximately 5 – 8 years, your child will again become a dog.  This transition is usually accompanied by a need for money, clean laundry, or a home-cooked meal.  Regardless, the return to dog-hood will be welcomed.

What can you do in the meantime, particularly to survive the middle school years?  There are many steps one can take to survive their child’s middle school years without going crazy.  Below are four.   

BE EMPATHETIC:  Realize that adolescent life is different now than it was when you were that age.  Be understanding, patient, and supportive.

BEFRIEND TEACHERS:  Middle school teachers are experts in the dog/cat transition.  They see it year after year in hundreds of students.  Befriend your child’s teachers and work with them as allies to help your child to stay on track and continue to be successful despite the hormones, peer pressure, and social distractions.

BE PROACTIVE:  It is much easier to avoid disasters than to recover from them.  Be proactive by staying up-to-date on your child’s latest peer group.  Look for signs of academic struggles, particularly in language arts and math.  Because the state standards are more demanding than ever before, many young people’s minds are not ready to grasp the content that teachers are mandated to teach.  If your child is struggling, seek help immediately.  Find a tutor.  There are many options available in the Sacramento area to suit your child’s needs.  Little else can compare to the progress a child can experience through one-on-one academic support from an encouraging expert in that field. 

Finally, BE THERE.  Your presence, whether your child admits it or not, is crucial and wanted (most of the time).  You are your child’s foundation and hope that everything will be okay.  Be home, try to be at school, be a part of your child’s middle school experience.  Cats need attention too.